Shadow Dance, my SNH

Saturday night healing! That is what it is for me -- MY community dance -- Last Saturday, we were invited to be aware and to dance with our 'shadows.' As the music started, I dropped judgment within my eyelids. Holding Suka's hand, I began to feel the music and to move slowly with the rhythm. I would let go of the hand in regular basis, not this time, we hold tight. After a while, I was confused which hand was whose...I immediately was transported to a forest where I could only see what it was 20" ahead of me. I did not know where to go? what to do? I dropped the judgment again, and began feeling what I was really feeling... I was sad, afraid and wondering. I cried, and cried. The music changed; it started to march and I was following, my body felt sometimes heavy and sometimes so weak. I kept on searching, that forest was so beautifully overwhelming! What was I pursuing? Truth? Peace? Home?

One thing got me through it; holding that hand at times I felt was my own, my shadow's hand, my friend's hand...God's hand.

...I was avid, longing to give someone what I want to receive.... And then I saw an imposing, wise and beautiful tree -- Nadine! -- I got closer, initiated contact, got closer enough to feel the energy between us. The music is intoxicating now. And I reached out for her hand and touched it as gently as I could, trying to know thru my tact; who are you? Who am I? Tip finger up through her arms, her shoulders, her back, her silhouette, down her legs to her feet... I replanted them with my warm hands -- to ground her as I wanted to be grounded. Tip finger slowly, I went back up and put one hand on her back and the other on her chest, I was searching for her heart. Searching for love, and I felt it both, we embraced so tight. I cried again.

..............................................Oh new moon! you that arises sensitivity.

I was grateful I chose to hold that hand as much as I could.
I was grateful I chose to nurture myself by nurturing another human.
I am grateful I am choosing not to go through 'the forest' alone. . .
In every person, in every moment;
I create and find myself,
I am not alone anymore.

SC

Houston, 07.22.06